Dogs, hands, and humans

If your dog bites your hand while feeding, dont punish it as it will come back for more food again. It can then only look at your hands, but cant look up your eyes. This is how you know it regrets the bite. Just like us humans)

Unga quloq soling... yurakka

Uzoq vaqt qo’limga qalam ola olmadim. Hozir ham yozsammi, yozmasammi qabilida oppoq sahifaga tikilib o’tiribman. Kechagina o’qigan bir yozuvchimning yon daftaridagi bir kichik eslatmaga ko’zim tushib ketdi. Unda katta harflar bilan “Tafakkurdagi tiniqlikka intil” deb yoz\ib qo’yilgan ekan. Tafakkurdagi tiniqlik haqida falsafa so’qishdan avval hammasidan eng oddiyi – tiniqlik haqida o’ylab ketdim.

Unchalik oson emas ekan u haqda o’ylash. Nima o’zi u? Hamma haqida hukm chiqarish illatidan qochib, o’zimning o’ta jo’n bo’lsa ham, shaxsiy tasavvurimga murojaat qilaman. Tiniqlik bu – moviy osmon, ezgu hislar, bezavol tabiat, siniqlik belgisi tushib ulgurmagan tabassum, ona mehri, og’ir damingda suyanganing do’stingning yelkasi, qo’rqib ketganda qo’lingdan mahkam ushlab, “Men yoningdaman” deya qulog’ingga shivirlab aytilgan xitob..   Xullas, adoqsiz davom ettirish mumkin bu yog’ini.

Sizning tasavvuringizda mana shu tiniqlik yana yuzlab boshqa timsollarda shakllanishi mumkin. Muhimi – endi asosiy vazifa. O’sha o’zimiz o’ylab, chizib, bo’yab yoki bo’yab ulgurmaganimiz – tiniqlik, yoki u deb o’ylaganimiz, va u deb nomlaganimizni tafakkurga ko’chirish. Hamma gap ana shunda, menimcha. Tasavvurda buning hammasi oson. Lekin, huddi tiniqlikni ko’chirmoqchi bo’lganimiz o’sha tafakkurning o’zida ham tiniqlikka qarama qarshi bo’lgan boshqa bir kuch yastanib yotadi. Uni yengib o’tish, uni o’z joyidan siljitib, tiniqlikka yo’l ochish – juda mushkul.. Biroq adolat tarozusini teng qo’yish kerak. Siz unga ham quloq solib ko’rsangiz, uning ham dardi bor. Bu –  aldangan damlarimiz, armonga aylanib qolgan ozrular, yolg’onchi marazlar, sotqin do’stlar, ko’kraging bilan himoya qilganingda orqangdan pichoq sanchgan masxaraboz yaqinlar, kungaboqar birodarlar… bularning hammasi misli bir yara, va eng muhimi, gohida hattoki tiniqlikdan ham katta og’irlikka ega. Xushyor bo’lmasak, tortib ketadi..

Kafka bunga yechim taklif etadi. Uning aytishicha, miyada va tafakkurda qanchalik dahshat hukmron bo’lmasin, uning bizga real  bir havf solishi uchun yurakdan miyaga quyiladigan qon va tiriklik bongi ham unga hizmat qilishi kerak. Demak, kalit bizning qo’limizda. Yurakni har doim ham miyaga tobe’ qilib qo’ymasak, bo’lgani. Yurak chaqirig’iga tez-tez quloq solib turish kerak ekan.. Achinarlisi, tafakkurga tomon intilayotgan bechora tiniqlikning yolg’iz posboni ham shu – yurak. Qaniydi uni tinglash va anglash baxti hammaga birdek nasib etsa... 

When all else fails

Teamwork is tricky. Anyone who has seen The Apprentice has witnessed how the teams react in the ‘board room’ when it’s time for someone to get fired. When they defend themselves, no one wants to take responsibility for their actions and they try to pin the blame on a convenient scapegoat. The candidates tend to sell each other out in a bid to survive. The rivalry, the bickering and the back-biting make TV ratings soar, but there are lessons to be learned here as well. It’s a snapshot of the kind of things that can go wrong in office teams. It's mainly factors such as poor judgment, egos, mistrust or losing sight of key objective that become apparent.

If trust and a shared vision to succeed are in place in the team then failure is the successful result of debunking a shared mythology. Learning that How we think things work and How things actually work are the real lessons to success.

The great lament of any reporter is what to do with the jewels that routinely get left on the cutting room floor after a really great interview. Enter the 30-Second MBA, an ongoing video “curriculum” of really good advice from the trenches, directly from people who are making news happen.

The Story of an empty Backback

How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV... the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home... I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office... and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. But we are definitely not swans.

Have trouble with Anger? Don't

A friend and I picked up a big fight couple of years ago over a simple matter of who is who and what is what. We departed each other, haven't talked ever since. The matter has lost its relation to the time, and to us. What it has caused is a temporary feeling of re-empowerment and self-righteousness.

Here we are now, she still has my pictures that she hasn't sent me yet (probably keeping them still or has deleted them), and I still hold to the feeling of missing her, but can't let go of the anger our fight has left in me.

She is a gentle girl, very nice personality with bits and pieces of selfishness that sometimes transcends her relationship with others. I am not being judgemental, the same perhaps is true about myself. But the thing is, I have forgiven her and even forgotten the case, but don't seem to get round the idea of her still keeping her anger and whatever she believes is true about what actually happened. Here I am. Angry. Again.